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kennywtelejazz

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Posts posted by kennywtelejazz

  1. 11 hours ago, SteveStrummerUK said:

    A little humorous self-deprecation is a very English trait Kenny - you're not letting slip your colonial roots are you 😄

    And just to add, I'm most definitely laughing with you old pal, not at you. One has to enter into the spirit of it after all.

    Please remember it's consensual Kenny (see what I did there).

    Positive enthusiasm never inhibits Strummy.

     

    Hey Steve nice post but you spelt consensual wrong . Its spelled Kensensual 😁

    Politely enthusiastic nostalgic initiates spellcheck  .

    Kenny

    • Haha 1
  2. 7 hours ago, craigb said:

    Gee Kenny, you could just have said "no" to my offer earlier in this thread!

    (Or did you just miss my reply? 🤔)

    I did see your reply and I have actually thought about it . You mentioned Milo was invited at the establishment .

    I can tell you  Milo is fine around people yet he is super protective of me and very reactive and extremely aggressive towards other dogs .

    I have been working on training him to Leave it alone ....

    This has been  my cross to bear with him and I hope someday he gets the memo and learns to chill .

    He is great in all other areas and I hope the day comes when I can even bring him back to a dog park .

    Coffee at Beacock's sometime in the afternoon is more along the lines of  what I can call a comfortable handle for a first time meet socially .

    7 hours ago, craigb said:

    As for your other topic, micro would be just fine with me!  Having your junk fall into the water when you're sitting on the toilet is very annoying! 😕

    😆

    I bet you were probably thinking I was trying real hard to insult you right ?

    Once again NO I did want to throw a Jab at you for all the times you came at me while I let it slide and turned the other check .

    The fact of the matter is I came up with the whole Micro Pecker Thing because every time I used the sauna at the health club I work out at all these old fart naked exhibitionists in the sauna would ask me why am I not naked  ? 

    How come you still got your sweat bottoms on .  ect ect

    I'm straight and I'm not into all this dickey dickey look'y lou stuff these guys wanted to play with me .

    One day  after one of them asked me same question .  I motioned him to lean in a little closer , then I asked him to keep my little secret ...

    I told him I was damaged at birth .  Instead of having a normal sized endowment I had a Micro Pecker 😆

    He looked at me shocked and I said yeah it's true  man ...

    Then every body in the sauna  at that time leaned in and I told them all ,

    "It s one thing to have to go through life with a Micro Pecker" . "It is a whole other thing to show the people around your package and remove all doubt 😉

    In other News , You said in your other post that you are more of you in real life than you are here on the forum . OK I got it .

    Where I'm from people don't try so hard to Eff and play mind games with other people like they do around here in Vantuckey .

    Where I'm from Its more like what happens in real uncensored nature . While Bambi is out in the fields munching on a mound of grass Mama Lion is getting ready to pounce because she has cubs to feed  .

    The people that met me in real life and took the time to get to know me a little will tell you I am not prey 😉

    Kenny

  3. Thanks Steve ! I'm so happy that making fun of my self can bring joy and laughter to you 😃

    Your much needed comment has helped get me over some recent bad news I just received earlier today .

    "Kenny it is with a heavy heart we regret to inform you that your missing man junk short film submission failed to make the cut for this years Honorary Mention Subcategory in The 2024 Oscars!  Your Micro Pecker was just too long and you had  had been edged out of the competition by fellow Coffee House Member Craigb " xD
     

     Kenny

     

    • Haha 1
  4. Back in 1978  I was fully immersed in my studies with Barry Galbraith . Plus I was working at a music store on West 48 Th St N .Y. C. ( my first music store Gig on W 48 Th St)

    It would take me weeks to learn how to play his chord melody arrangements of Jazz Standards . One of my favorites at the time was Here's That Rainy Day . BTW it took me months to learn and get that one in playable shape .

    So here I am I'm working at a music store and a lean well dressed gentleman wearing a Stetson cowboy hat and boots that cost as much as a down payment for a brand new car  walks in carrying a guitar in a case. I was standing right near the entrance of the store so I said to him "can I help you" . He smiled at me , and said "I'm just looking around ",I asked him "what type of guitar you you have in the case "and he said "would you like to see it?" and I said "yes ". So we amble over to a part of the store where we had a little space and were we were out of some of the customers way ....

    He cracks open the guitar case and in it he has a 1950's era Gibson acoustic L 5 in Blond w a cut away.

    I just about shot a nut in my shorts when I saw his guitar 😆 I told him I loved Arch Tops and that I played a Pre War Epiphone Deluxe with a D Angelico fingerboard combined w a DeArmond Rhythm Chief P U ...

    He asks me if I wanted to play his guitar as he hands it to me .

    His L5 was a true joy to play . Real smooth , great action and a lovely Gibson acoustic tone .When I get done playing a few of the chord melodies I had been working on from my studies he asks me if I had a Union Card . I told him no I didn't have a union card . He says get one ! I ask him why and he tells me I will need a union card if I would like to take him up on his offer of giving me a gig in a Broadway Show . I was like what !!!!you want to get me a gig on Broadway  . He then introduces himself to me . His name was Craig Chambers . Craig was the band leader of The Rio Grande band.  The original band  for the original Broadway version of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas . 

    You bet I went out and got a union card ...I got the gig as a 2nd sub of the guitar chair partially due to politics  and the fact that Craig liked the way I played ...At this show the band was small and the union forced the production to hire more band members to meet the min quota for the size of the theater , I didn't know that going in but either way I was so happy to have a little toe hold in something musical greater than selling guitars , picks and strings .

    I never got to play the show . I was #2 sub and Craig's #1 sub was fully fit and ready for duty . What they did do with me was they had me strolling outside and all through out the the theater playing my arch top  acoustic while people milled around the theater before they found and got into  their seats .

    I was OK with the situation as it was.   I  had the benefit of making a good friend at the time .I hung out with Craig , his wife and many of the cast and band members socially

    I remember we would go out some times for dinner ...like 20 of us and when it came time for the tab I would have to chip in more than what I got paid for the show  because we divided the check evenly ...maybe that's why they hired me ...not 😁

    Craig would also invite me to sit in with him and the band he used for his club gigs in N Y C .

    Those were some good times back then and I still think about some of the people like Craig Chambers I met from back then . People like that are so far and few between .

    So now  every so often when you hear me say "I went from whats happening to What Happened "? it is these type of stories that illustrate what I mean 🙂

    all the best ,

    Kenny

    • Like 1
  5. On 3/8/2024 at 10:32 AM, SteveStrummerUK said:

    I'd always thought you might have a massive pole Kenny 🤨

    Hi Strummy !

    Once upon a time I did in fact have a massive pole .

    I remember those days well . I was young  and in shape. Back then I had a set of six pack abs . Now that I'm old , wheezing up the 3 flights of stairs up to my flat , I'm now packing a Keg where my six pack abs used to be . I look down at my feet in the morning while I'm on my scale  and I'm left saying to myself ,

    "I can no longer see my man junk while looking down at me feet from up here  ! Who stole my massive pole and left a micro pecker in it's place? "

    The authorities were of no help .They told me they didn't have the resources  to help me and that it had served me right for telling people for decades the story of how they laughed me out of Harlem for only having ten inches .

    all the best ,

    Kenny

    • Haha 1
  6. On 3/4/2024 at 10:14 AM, Grem said:

    Great story Kenny. 

    Thanks Grem ! I enjoyed your story also .

    The Music Store I worked at on W 48 Th St in NYC in the mid 80's was a magnet for having top musicians and guitar players dropping in to socialize , window shop or kill a little time between Gig's .

    Vernon used to come in and visit one of the guitar guys that worked there . They usually had conversations by passing the guitar back and forth and playing a little each time they did that .

    We had to do that there because if the owner or MGR heard 2 guys playing the same tune together at the same time on different guitars he would start yelling .

    I have seen him yell at some known players and it didn't matter who you were 🤣

    One day I stood there and listened to Vernon and he started playing some Jazz ....

    Apparently he was working on developing and improving his chops in that genre so I said hey  I play that type of music and he reluctantly handed me the guitar .

    I played him the same tune he was playing with a few kitchen sinks thrown in just to remind him that unknown guitar players that live under rocks that have to work in music stores can play too . As I was playing he backed up and put a WTF look on his face with the added you ain't so posed to play so good , you work in a guitar store look on his face .I laughed right back at him for that and I won't say we became friends but the few times I saw Vernon after that meeting we wound up having a few conversations VIA passing the guitar back in forth ... 

    All the best ,

    Kenny

    PS I can spill the beans regarding a lot more  encounters along those lines w top tier players that have taken place over the years in various musical settings and circumstances .I just don't want to end up dropping names for the sake of trying to elevate my poor ole ailing self esteem 🫣

    • Like 2
  7. OK Craig....As far as I'm concerned  You seem to have a habit of always  trying to ride me and get a reaction from me with just about every other post I post  on this forum . Regardless of the OP or the topic .

    Yet you don't have the stones to meet me in real Life 😉

    Truthfully I don't care all that much about your puzzle . I only participated in your thread to have a little fun with the guys and I sure all ELL don't need your permission to do so  .

    If it's all that important for you to maintain the" integrity of your literary masterpiece" , Why don't you take the time to educate me and show me the ones I missed  :D 

    In plain , simple easy to understand English . Put up or shut up ...

    Have a nice Day !

    Kenny

    • Like 1
  8.                                                                                        Hhmmm Interesting Puzzle 🤔

                                                                                WordSearchForSteve.jpg

                                    YGL5lPj.jpeg

     

                                                                                      Yay ! We may have cracked the code 🥳

    Kenny

    • Haha 2
  9. Lets hear one that involved an encounter with a professional musician and the comments they made .

    After my friend Brad and I picked up Joe Pass from the mid town hotel where he was staying and brought him to his Gig . I noticed Joe seemed to be acting a little strange . Normally Joe liked to enjoy a good glass of wine and a top quality cigar before a GIG backstage before his show but on this night he seemed noticeably off.

    I asked him what was going on and he told me his guitar didn't feel or sound right . So I opened up his guitar case , took a look inside and said "what the heck is this "?

    Joe looked at me with that look only  a puppy dog would give you after he chewed up all the trash and redecorated the leather of you favorite pair of shoes and said

    " I tried a little experiment ! I wanted to see if cello strings would sound better than the brand of guitar strings I had been using on my guitar" .... 

    I noodled around a little bit on his guitar and came to the conclusion these cello strings are not gonna work at all so I grabbed a set of his back up guitar strings and restrung his guitar as fast as I could backstage . It's a good thing that I did because when I got done he had about 10 or 15 min's free time left before he had to perform his show  . So then Joe asks me to warm up and play his guitar and make sure they truly sound OK. So I launch into all my favorite imitations of  what Joe Pass would sound like if he had no talent , was blindfolded , had one arm behind his back and had too much to drink 😆

    After butchering a number of my interpretations of Solo Guitar  Jazz Standards in the style of Joe , Joe told me he thought I sounded pretty good 😛

    I knew he was shining me on but what he said next I was not prepared for or expecting ...He said "Kenny I don't feel good and you need to help me out . I'm not able to play or perform tonight ! Can you go out and play my GIG for me "?

    Right then and there my heart started pounding as it jumped up clear past my throat.  I started shaking like a leaf in a tropical tornado . Then I looked down at my shoes with the tears starting to well up in my eyes and sheepishly proclaimed in a raspy whisper " I'm too young to Die ....  The audience paid good money to see and hear you play . Not one of them even knows who I am and I might not make it out of here in one piece if I end up trying to do your show for you "

    The next thing I know Joe and his friend John were laughing their heads off ....They had set me up  and pulled a whooper of a practical joke on me .

    Once the revelation set in I grabbed Joe , forced him into the bathroom stall he had back stage and tied him up with his own neck tie and left him there for the few mins he had left before he performed his show ....

    Oh man those were good times ...anyway the picture I have enclosed in this post has one of the two bottom shots from that GIG ..

    Bottom left Joe performing at another one of his Gig's .

    Bottom right backstage with Joe ..at the GIG from  this story .His friend John on the left was a great guitar player and that's  little ole me on the right ... 

    Brad who took the lower 2 photo's is in the top photo . We are having a private diner with Joe  before one of his Gigs. 

    ogl1lGW.jpeg

    Whew !!!

    all the best

    Kenny

    • Like 3
  10. 7 hours ago, kennywtelejazz said:

    Paulo's enigmatic nouns instigated Steve !

     

    4 hours ago, paulo said:

     

    Bringing out loquacious language often conceals knowledgeable status.

    Pretending enlightenment negates  instant  success because eventually a non penetrating muff muncher's Pud enlargement now envisions  sanctuary .

    Kenny

    • Great Idea 1
    • Haha 1
  11. 20 hours ago, treesha said:

    Sweet story, sorry to hear she lived under a tree 😄

    I'm glad you liked my story . Lets see if we can fill in some of the blanks for you😉.

    I got off work 2 AM after last call , walked her home and stood under a tree in her yard 25 feet away from her house and we talked until the sun came up .

    Why may you ask ? Well the obvious reason would be it is possible either her mom or her grandma would not have known I was there nor would they have appreciated running across me in their see through nightie's as they went for a 4 AM snack ...SO we kept it outside and respected their space .

    That is one possible explanation but the truth is this lovely lady had done her homework and researched me over at my Snag A Date  with Kenny Wilson  Web Page .   After she had read my profile she realized one of my greatest turn on's in life is to climb into a tree in a private yard with a lovely woman , beat my chest and proclaim at the top of my lungs

    " Me Tarzan you Jane  " 

    Hope this info helps . All the best ,

    gulp ....Tarzan

    • Haha 3
  12. One of the nicest things someone has ever said too me about my guitar playing  took place at a small club I was playing in City Island NY back in the 90's . 

    I noticed a young lady in her 30's who need crutches just to walk and stand .  She had came out to see me play every time I did a GIG there which turned out to be about once a week .

    At the end of this gigs  night she hobbled up to where I had been playing in the area where  I was now packing up my gear she said " Can I talk to you for a moment "

    I could see it in her eyes that she was energized and filled with positive mojo so I bent over a little and leaned in to meet her at her eye and height level .

    She asked me if I believed in Reincarnation and I said" Yes I  believe in that " . Then she put a big wide smile on her face and blurted out "When I die I want to come back and be reincarnated  as your guitar ." I was like wow ! I can tell she had become super embarrassed because tuned redder than an ripe Apple and I did the only thing I could do . I leaned in and put a hug on her that to this day I wish I could experience again .  I felt so much emotion stir up inside me for this woman at that moment in time and I asked her was she local and how was she getting home . She told me she lived around 3 or 4 blocks in the area and she had walked to the club. So I strapped my small Fender combo to my motorcycle and left it in front of the club . The I slung my guitar in a gig bag over my shoulder and walked her home .

    We stood outside the fence of the lawn where she lived under a tree and talked for hours ....I felt so much of a connection that took place in the moment that to even touch her or kiss her would have taken away from the whole wholesome experience ...I figured she had seen and knew how my fingers moved on a guitar and I didn't want to spoil the moment !
    😉

    When the Sun came up I said my goodbyes to her . To this day  I have always kept a place in my heart just for her .

     

    Kenny

    Why spoil it

     

    • Like 7
  13. 13 hours ago, kennywtelejazz said:

    I wish they would finaly invent a working time machine .

     

     

    12 hours ago, craigb said:

    They did.  Then they got the heck out of this clown world.

    😆

    So that means they left you , me , and the rest of us to suffer the wrath of all The  BOZO 's  they left behind ....

    Oh well ! It's time for" somebodies turn " to put on the red prosthetic  nose , wear the big shoes , and drive the tiny little red car ! 😉

     

                                        cYbzoAl.jpeg

                                                           Hey Milo ! Get off the hood of our car . I can't see the road  🤣

    Kenny

  14. 23 minutes ago, paulo said:

    Your problem there is that they will still look like they did then, but you will still look like you do now.  At best they might help you cross the road. 😀

    🤣

    You just might be right on that one .

    Today I had one of those old man moments  . A really good produce store in my area offers seniors a 10 % discount on Tuesdays . 

    As I'm paying I fished out some loose change so I didn't have to break a bill .  I'm sorting the coins out and 2 of them drop and hit the floor .I bend over to get them and I couldn't reach them . After something like 25 seconds I started turning red so the fella next in line a you guy in his 20 's swooped in a picked them up for me ...All I could do was say thank you and laugh ...

    I did tell him getting old sucks !And that I used to make fun of those I have fallen and I can't get up commercials. Now it seems I'm just about living it .

    Kenny

    • Sad 1
  15. About 20 years ago I was playing at an open mic in a coffee house in the San Fernando Valley . I get up plug in my guitar and sit on a chair on the little riser stage .

    A young guy with shoulder length hair wearing a fashionably in style plaid flannel shirt walks up gets on his knees and places his elbows and upper body partially on the riser stage and leans into my direction watching me like a Hawk as I played my guitar .

    So I'm in the process of playing a Jazzed Up version of Little Wing and I say to myself I hope the guy digs what I'm playing . When I get done playing the song he says to me "Did you finally get your guitar in tune "?   

     

    Kenny

    • Haha 4
  16. Yep ! If I had access to a fully functional Time Machine  I would go back to my first  guitar lesson . When my teacher asks me what music do I want to learn to play on the guitar I would still answer him what I told him back then . I want to learn how to play Secret Agent Man .

    This time when he says no we are not here for that and hands me a Clarinet Melodic Studies  Book with the Mickey Baker Jazz Guitar Book  I will then set the Time Machine into the edit mode ,  erase his memory and have him brainwashed by using modern A I .

    Then he would be convinced with out a shadow of a doubt that he wrote the song  Secret Agent Man and that  I was only there to carry on with spreading the gospel of his music and songwriting .

    Kenny

     

  17. When they do  I can take all the things I learned about music & music production and bring my knowledge back with me to the past .

    I would then be able to spare myself all the mistakes  and rabbit holes I willingly dived head first with out a clue into .

    Yep ! And when I'm not doing my music I will be checking out some of the girls I used to know .:P

    Kenny

     

    • Haha 1
  18. 7 hours ago, Sheens said:

    89e4a46102162f82e77a296c8af9e745.gif

    Girls ! Let this be a lesson for you . What ever you do , do not get in the back seat of a car on date night with a guy named The Jack Hammer .

    Kenny

    • Haha 2
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