RobertWS

An American is in a bar in Germany.

He asks the bartender, "Do you have any American beer?"

The bartender flatly says, "No."

The American says, "Well give me the closest thing you have to an American beer".

The bartender serves him a glass of tap water.

On 7/2/2022 at 9:56 AM, Bapu said:

 It's probably "plugged in" here:

 <insert tasteless joke about 'money shot' here>

6 hours ago, Rain said:

 I am Canadian.

OK, we'll speak slowly and use small words.   ?

Hmmm.   Go to Las Vegas and spend the money on *****, drugs and rock and roll!

The rest of the money I would just waste.

[Edit]  WTF?   The word s e x got censored?

No country for old men?

16 hours ago, abacab said:

Get some rubbing alcohol and some wipes. Good times! ?

That's what SHE said!

If you cut your hair to have bangs....will that make you a better drummer?

5 minutes ago, cclarry said:

Well I ended up getting $5.99 back on the CPU!

Every little bit matters - especially NOW!

Yeah!   You can buy a gallon of gas!

Some cheap MIDI cables do not handle pitch bends well.

Witch of these spelling jokes is your favorite?

Q: What is a witch’s favorite school subject?
A: Spelling!

Q: How does a witch spell mousetrap?
A: C-a-t!

Q: How do you know a witch invented the alphabet?
A: Because you have to spell it.

Q: Can you spell a word for pretty witch with two letters?
A: QT!

Q: What’s the difference between a ground witch and round witch?
A: The letter G!

Q: What happen to the short witch when she added the letter E, R to her spell?
A: She got a shorter!

Q: How do you make seven witches into three even pairs?
A: They ate the witch whose name starts with S!

Q: Why was the witch given a letter with X written on it?
A: Because she was X-communicated!

Q: Why did the witch name her two sons ED?
A: Because two Eds are better than one!

16 hours ago, Bapu said:

tl;dv

 For the older readers:

tl;dv

A) "Too long; didn't view", meaning a video, meeting recording, or any video that is very lengthy, and whoever used the phrase didn't even view it for that reason.

I must be old, I don't get this distressed/vintage look...at all!

16 hours ago, Jesse Screed said:

Just like "safety belts" in automobiles, they don't prevent you from getting hurt, they just decrease the odds you won't die in a collision.

 

Actually, safety belts DO decrease the likelihood and severity of injury.   (Still, I hate them, I wish I could disable that annoying chime!).

21 hours ago, Bapu said:

 My circle of physically seen friend is limited to about 20 people (all fully vaxxed).

 

You know 'vaxxed' people can carry it and spread it around just as easily as the 'unvaxxed'...right?

(Some analyst pointed out that 'vaxxed' people can have it and not show symptoms so they go out and about their business which actually makes things worse.  The 'unvaxxed' show symptoms and are more likely to stay home). 

('Vaxxed' in quotation marks because it really isn't a vaccine.)

10 hours ago, Shane_B. said:

Sorry to take this back on topic. Hah. Well, it finally got me. The big C.

 

 

The big C is reserved for Cancer.   Don't be freaking people out!

37 minutes ago, craigb said:

So, the goal is to become unwired, ya? ?

I should probably cut down on the amount of coffee I drink

Gee, that one fell kind of flat.

Let's go the other way:

History of the Eagles

The Beatles: Eight Days a Week - The Touring Years

11 hours ago, David Baay said:

Going 15 minutes without something making me temporarily annoyed.

Wow, what's that like?

A well struck golf ball.

On 5/13/2022 at 2:04 PM, craigb said:

Good for toe jams! ?

And playing soul music.

8 hours ago, CoveCamper said:

Me too! I play the elusive Air Alembic Bass. Here is a pic of it.

 

Did that come with a case?

I have listened to, unfortunately, many players of error guitar.